In loving memory, Sydney-Bear Chapek 2002(ish) – 4/22/15

I’m very sad to tell you that today we said our final goodbyes to our sweet little girl Sydney, as she quietly slipped away into doggie heaven. Her tired body has been failing her for some time now, and that decline finally pushed us to make the extremely painful decision to have her put-down. Our vet came to our house so she could pass away in familiar surroundings with her loving family.

She was always such a happy girl, no matter the circumstances. When she was completely paralyzed a few years back (due to a burst disc in her neck) she’d sit there in her little area down at the Ventura surgical center, and whenever anybody came near, her tail would spin like a propeller, whapp-whap-whapping on the floor as she smiled at them, hoping for some attention. After a week in the ICU we brought her home, and over the next several months we rehabilitated her as she learned to control her body all over again…and never was there even a HINT of sadness at her condition, only happiness and gratitude. Her love for us was vast and unconditional. One of the things I will surely miss for the rest of my life will be waking up in the middle of the night with her nose snuggled up into the crook of my neck, her warm breath nothing short of pure love and innocence from an angel placed here on earth to teach us patience, caring and understanding. Among other things, Jeannie will sorely miss taking her weekend naps on the couch with Syd jammed in-between her and the couch, “snug as a bug in a rug”. She was the World Champion of snuggling for sure!

Knowing the time and date of her passing ahead of time is a double-edged sword. On the one hand that knowledge evoked numerous waves of grief these past days. Yet on the other side, knowing this helped us to make it a happy time. The old adage 'I'd give everything for one more minute...well, we were given days, and due to that we have no regrets. We were given the gift of being able to make our last days with her extra-special. 

We ALL had hamburgers on Monday for dinner (Syd LOVES hamburgers!), and I also ran down and got a batch of “cow knees” from the pet store for her and her sisters to chomp on all day Tuesday and Wednesday morning while we were at work. On Tuesday (her farewell ‘dinner’) Jeannie brought home steaks (Syd had TWO). And today I left work at lunch-time and brought home more burgers for us to all enjoy (and Syd had the one leftover steak too...did I mention that she LOVES steak too?) We then went to the park, Syd riding in her FurBaby Flyer wagon enjoying the ride, anxious to get to the park a few more times, where she could smell the bushes and eat all the grass she wants. Then we spent lots of quality time simply sitting in the front yard or inside the house being together.

Every feeding time at our house since Syd's arrival has been a QUITE NOISY affair, as Syd has a "hound" bark (we believe she's a cross between a pit-bull and a basset hound). She has been mostly deaf for some time now, but you touch the dinner bowls and she starts "woo-woo"ing, sounding the dinner bell for the others to come running. Her barking doesn't end until the dinner-bowls are finally placed into the feeding bin and the chow-down commences. In recent weeks due to her declining control of her legs, Syd has been eating on the floor lying down as she can't stand-up long enough to eat at the raised feed-bin...but no matter...did I mention that she LOVES eating? The missing sound of her joyful baying before every meal will be a be a huge source of sadness for us over these next few weeks, until our grief finally turns to smiles at the thought of her.

We take comfort knowing that we gave her the best life we possibly could, even though she gave far more to us than we ever gave to her. Our new puppy Sophie only got to know her for a few months, but we’re grateful for that. It’s funny how in life you move along day to day, never really thinking about how quickly things can change. Over the last few months as her debilitating condition slowly robbed her of motor control of her body, we’ve known that sometime in the near future for her sake we’d have to make this difficult decision. And once the decision was made and the "appointment set", we had to live the last few days knowing that her end was so very near. You like to think your loved ones will always be there, but one of the sad truths of this world is that none of us will live forever, and those of us who choose to have pets are doomed to say farewell to them throughout our lifetime. I’m quite sure none of those goodbyes are easy. I know I’ve prayed and prayed for Sydney over the last several months, and it seemed that after each bad spell she’d miraculously bounce back. Sadly, this time God’s answer was that we need to finally let her go. I can tell you that both Jeannie and I are SO very grateful for the time we've had with our furry little Bear.

I can also tell you that last night was one of the longest of my life. I’m already a light sleeper, but last night sleep was pretty hard to come by, and then I woke up countless times where I’d quietly lay there and watch her sleeping, her nose as usual tucked in between my neck and shoulder, her warm breath both comforting and saddening me, knowing it was to be the last time I'd be blessed in such a way. As I lay there,  I’d lightly caress her, hoping to etch these last few precious memories into my mind forever. And I know Jeannie was feeling the same, as I could hear her sniffling now and then, and off and on thru the night I could see her hands reaching out from under the blankets to hold our beautiful girl one more time.

I know she struggled mightily this past year, yet she never once complained or gave up. I think in her heart she knew that we weren’t ready for her to go, and was content to fight until we finally were. Sydney, please know that Mommy and Daddy love and miss you more than you could possibly know. You're not supposed to have 'favorites' with your kids, but both Jeannie and I have a little extra love in our hearts for Sydney. She has always been a "special needs" child to us, but especially during these last few years since her burst disc, as she needed much more care than the others.

With her passing I’m reminded of a song I hear on the radio by a rock group called "The Script" called 'There’s no good in goodbye'. One of the lines that rings especially true is “you can’t take the ache from heartbreak”. I’m quite sure that every time I hear this song from now on I’ll think of Sydney, and hopefully as time passes I'll stop being sad and can think of the great times we had. She will forever remain in our hearts and minds.

Rest now our sweet baby girl, you’ve done more than your share. We thank you with all our hearts for the time you gave us. 

Goodbye Sydney Bear.