Happy New Year!

The title says it all. Away we go into another year. 2018 was a difficult year for us...I lost my stepmother (April 2nd), my Mom (June 2nd), and just lost my stepdad (Dec 23rd). It was a rather tough year on parents in our family. And my dad, while healthy, has the short term memory of a goldfish (dementia). Just saw him over the Christmas break, and WOW. How quickly the dementia has taken hold and really blocking pretty much ANY memory of recent events. And then he sees things on TV or hears things and then somehow creates a memory that involves him (he's had lunch w/ the President, got tons of money in the bank, stuff like that). It's very difficult for my brothers and I for sure. AND he's in an assisted living facility over 400 miles from me (probably ONLY about 22 mi for my big brother). So it's not like we can just zip on over if things get out of control.

But hey, enough on that. It IS the start of a New Year, and I'm hoping it's going to be a good one. I'm hoping my 401k comes back out of the gutter like many of you, and that Jeannie's Federal Worker furlough doesn't last too long. She's all upset about being furlough'd again...and I'm like "why can't I ever get furlough'd? It's a paid vacation for crying out loud!" (they do typically get paid for it eventually, so why worry about it? Too much work to do she says...and I say "it will still be sitting there when you go back, so why be upset about it?" I'd KILL for a furlough! (well, probably not REALLY...probably). And she is also pretty steamed at the pay cap you know who just signed for all Federal Workers for 2019...just another brick in the wall.

Oh well...it is what it is....I always say "if it's beyond your control, then it's wasted energy to worry about it".

So anyway, the New Year is upon us, and I have ONE LAST picture to post from this year (just took it on the night of the 30th...not sure how it happened, but Sophie AND Abbey were sitting on the couch and NOT running away! AMAZING!!

As of Jan 1st the Christmas lights will stay off and I will take everything down the following weekend most likely, and put them away in the attic for another year. This time of year (Post Holidays) always makes us sad....we both love the decorating and the lights and the entire atmosphere of the Holidays. There's just something about it (not to mention the extended vacation that I get every year, with the entire break between Xmas and New Years off! But I pay for that by NOT getting any of the minor holidays off, I only get Memorial day, the 4th, Labor day, T-day, and then the Holiday break). I think it's a good trade tho.

So I will now sign off on this final post of the year. Be safe, be happy, and enjoy every day as you never know what tomorrow will bring.

I figure there's no better wish for my friends and family to end the year with than the lyrics from Lee Ann Womack's song I hope you dance.

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder

You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger

May you never take one single breath for granted

God forbid love ever leave you empty handed

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean

Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens

Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance 

I hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance

Never settle for the path of least resistance

Livin' might mean takin' chances, but they're worth takin'

Lovin' might be a mistake, but it's worth makin'

Don't let some hell-bent heart leave you bitter

When you come close to sellin' out, reconsider

Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance (Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along)

I hope you dance

I hope you dance (Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder)

I hope you dance (Where those years have gone?)

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean

Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens

Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

Dance

I hope you dance 

I hope you dance (Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along)

I hope you dance (Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder?)

I hope you dance (Where those years have gone?)

Dance (Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder?)

Dance (Where those years have gone?)

Wishing a blessed and VERY Happy New Year to the Asylum! 

Get out there and DANCE!

Merry Christmas!

Per my Holiday tradition, here is our annual Christmas card. This is the 22nd year that I've made my own card. It all started in 1997 while I was sailing on USNS Surveillance ships (after I had retired from the Navy), and it WOULD have been 23 STRAIGHT years but I missed 2008. I was actually at sea on my FIRST ship ever when I made the first card (pretty rare for a retired Navy guy to have ZERO sea-days when he retires...but the job/career I chose when I was 17 and signed up for as a High School Senior looking to get OUT of Helena Montana ended up being island/shore based, and that was that). I created my card using Microsoft Publisher, and then printed out about 80 copies on my OH-SO-VERY-SLOW Canon BJC80 inkjet printer (did I mention that it was SLOW?), and then I used the same printer to make all the envelopes (this printing all took me about 3 days...but I was on a ship at sea, only working 8 hours a day, time was ONE thing I had plenty of). I was able to buy stamps in our ships store, and when he hit port about 2 weeks before Christmas (in Yokohoma Japan, my ships home-port) I got them all in the mail down at the USPS located in the US Naval Station Yokosuka Japan (about 30 minutes south of Yokohama by train). I kept up the tradition every year after that while on the ships. I left my final ship in late 2003 and came back home to Jeannie for good right here in Santa Maria CA where we still live today

And so....without further adieu, our Christmas Card 2018.

And so...another year has come and gone. Christmas is HERE! I hope this finds everyone in the Asylum healthy and happy (what else is there to wish for someone?) 

Merry Christmas my friends, and I hope you have a VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR!

(oh, and everybody is always asking me for pictures of my house lights...so here is a panorama I made of our house along with our neighbors Louie & Anna's house...we always put up our lights complementing each other, and love the GLOW that comes from our 2 houses). 

So here you go...our 2018 lights (my house is on the right, that's Super Frosty just about in the middle, and Louies on the left. If you think that Louies lights look VERY similar to mine, it's likely becasue I've given him most of the lights on his house over the years as they were extra's and just sitting in my attic...they are MUCH better being put out and lit IMO).

Happy Thanksgiving!

Jeannie and I are on her brothers farm in Virginia again this year (we were in Hawaii last year!). We arrived Wednesday afternoon, flew out from LAX on Tuesday (another long day of travel). Anyway, all is well, but it IS a teensy bit chilly here today. I think we got up to 41 today, I know back in Richmond they were predicting a high of 36. We were outside at 9am cutting and splitting wood for the cast iron stove...we stopped after a pickup load.

Dinner is in an hour or so, and I wont post this until I get our dinner picture.

 

As always I try to get an artsy shot of the old shack across the road...took this yesterday afternoon, the full moon was rising and we were less than an hour from sundown...always a beautiful setting.

 Here is the wood we cut this morning...John used the big Husky chainsaw cutting the downed hickory tree into chunks, and I used the 22 ton Hydraulic Ram/Splitter to break it into usable pieces.

And here was my station (sitting on the big round piece in front of the splitter). You can split a LOT of wood in a few hours with the gas powered ram...I cant imagine doing it by hand w/ an axe. One of his cows is peeking over the fence in the background.

While we were out  cutting wood Jeannie was doing her own artsy thing. This is her cheeseball turkey! I think its AWESOME! 

And finally...the masterpiece.

 And thats a wrap....Thanksgiving dinner, which was FABULOUS! Im STUFFED (as always) and sipping coffee, waiting for a bit of room to open up for Walnut AND Pumpkin pie.

Happy Thanksgiving to the Asylum!

Happy Veterans Day!

Once again it's that day where we remember our Veterans. On a whim I pulled out my "Cracker Jacks" out of the closet and tried them on. Here are the results.

Not too shabby if I do say so myself...considering I retired in 1994 (24 years ago)! The picture I'm holding is my boot-camp picture taken when I was 18 years old....FORTY YEARS AGO!

I am however out of uniform here...no ribbons, medals or hat. I could have taken apart my shadow box for ribbons and medals, but that would be a lot of work. I was just interested to see if I could still fit, and I was (not saying I didn't stress-test those bell bottom pants buttons tho). I will be down in Los Angeles (for work) most of January and into Feb most likely, and will make a trip down to San Diego Naval Station and pick up a new Dixie Cup hat, and maybe a set of ribbons so I don't have to take apart my shadow box. Then NEXT YEAR I will do a fully uniformed shot.

Anyway, HAPPY VETERANS DAY to all those out there who have worn a uniform, and especially to those wounded or killed over the centuries...they are the ones who MADE AMERICA GREAT!

(on a side note, Jeannie took me out to Denny's for breakfast today.....woo-hoo!) I've been teasing her like FOREVER as she sleeps in every Veterans Day while THE VETERAN gets up and goes to work...so I FINALLY got a V-Day breakfast out of her! Oh, I know what you're thinking....what did I order you ask?

The Cinnamon Bun pancake slam! This is ALMOST a before shot...my pancakes were late so I had already started on the bacon, eggs and hash browns. The pancakes have the cinnamon bun crunchy stuff baked right into the pancakes...YUM!!!!

And this is of course the After shot. Done and DONE! 

(and I STILL fit into my dress uniform after this!)  

Sadly Denny's doesn't offer their "Free" Grand Slam breakfast to Vets TODAY (actual Veterans Day), only tomorrow. That just seems wrong...but I guess they won't have to give away nearly as many that way, as MOST vets are still working. We WERE going to go to IHOP as THEY were giving the free vet meal today, but of course they were "slammed" so we called the audible and went to Dennys and Jeannie bought (thanks again Jeannie!).

After breakfast we ran around stopping at other places giving free things to Vets...I got a free cup of coffee at Starbucks, a free "Hot and Ready" pizza and a soda at Little Caesars, and a free donut (which I will take to work tomorrow for my break snack) at Dunkin Donuts. There are likely a few other places but I have things to do today. Anyway it was fun to actually get to partake in a few of the "thank you to vets" specials for a change!

OK. I'm off to do my Sunday chores. Veterans Day or not I've got things that need doing today.

Later gaters!

Cheers!

Happy Halloween!

Well, another Halloween has come and gone. It was a pretty good day at work, which I left an hour early to slip in a Mt bike ride, get home and shower, and get ready for our Trick or Treaters! It was a BANNER YEAR for us....173 kids between 6:12 and 8:15pm (when I ran out of candy and turned off the lights). That's a new record...I THOUGHT we had plenty of candy (I give 2 pieces to each kid...nice pieces such as the little candy bars, etc). The babies had a BLAST hanging out at the door, hoping for the kids to pet them and make a general fuss over them (which they mostly did). Abbey especially was great...Sophie got scared at a few of the costumes and barked...the scariest was a kid dressed up as the clown in the NEW version of Stephen Kings "IT" (it was pretty scary actually, and it was a bigger kid too, not a tiny child!) She was NOT happy with that costume whatsoever!

And so...being as I haven't posted pics of them in a while, here are a few pictures of the babies.

 Here's Abbey trying to get closer to the candy-pot. She was hoping I wouldn't notice 

(she's got her front legs on the table).

Sophie is dressed up as a "dog" (hot dog-bull dog...get it? Sometimes I kill myself!)  

A side view of Ms. Abbey being BAD. She is a cutie tho and gets away with a lot.

Side view of Sophie. She was really calm this year, except for the few costumes that startled her...otherwise she was really great! A lot of kids pet them both (which they LOVED!)

Abbey keeping a sharp eye out for kids (before they started, our first kid was at 6:12pm). 

Here she's again watching the candy bowl. She's really good at guarding things with food in them!

Here they're waiting patiently for the next kids to arrive.

Taking a time-out from door-guard, resting on the rug (guarding the door is hard work apparently!)

Sophie caught me taking their picture.

Nearing the end, Abbey is all tuckered out. Getting petted by a bunch of 

Trick or Treaters must really be draining!

 Our fireplace mantle decorations: Jeannie found a string of scary pumpkin lights, and we entwined them in a nice double strand of fall color leaves. On the right is her "Haggatha" witch that she got when she was in Salem Mass a few years back.

 

And this is what it looks like lit up (the camera kind of ruins the glow, they don't look that bright in real life...just a kind of soft spooky glow). This all comes down TOMORROW.

And so....another Halloween is in the books. We had really great weather (as usual, we ARE in California after all). Probably right around 60 when I turned off the lights...not too shabby. 

Hope your Halloween was scary fun like ours!

Cheers!

Oktoberfest

Well...John and Peggy (my bro-in-law and his wife) landed in Munich today for Oktoberfest (it opened yesterday, the 22nd). Jeannie and I were supposed to be with them, but way back in January with my mom's diagnosis of her cancer spreading to her liver (and thereby being taken off Chemo) we decided to nix this plan, as we had no idea how this was going to play out (well, we knew the end-game, it was everything in between that we didn't know).

I certainly have no regrets on cancelling the trip, but I do still feel some twinges of sadness at not being in Germany right now with them. But hey....such is life...we will just go another time. (actually Jeannie and I were planning to head over a week early and spend it in Italy as neither of us have been there, then we would have flown to Munich and met them today). For the next 10 days or so I will be living vicariously thru John as they once again do it up in Munich. Ahhh...what fun we had a few years back when we did go. It was SO MUCH MORE than just drinking beer...I had no idea!

Anyway, below I'll leave a parting shot of one of our favorite pictures from that trip. This is in one of the Grand Halls (can't remember which one)...you know, drinking beer, eating fantastic food, laughing till you cry, and dancing and partying with 10,000 of your best friends from all over the world (with ZERO fights)! This kind of thing truly restores my faith in humanity...you show up and see HOW MANY PEOPLE are there every single day, everybody having a great time,  people of all walks of life doing their own thing and having fun! I just pray that this years event goes off without any tragedy.

And so...without further adieu, Oktoberfest! John and Peggy, I'm hoisting a Sam Adams Oktoberfest brew to you tonight...be safe and have fun! (yes, I know... Sam Adams is NOT an approved Oktoberfest beer).

Prost!

Fifty Eight trips around the sun

Yes....when I wake up in the morning I'll have been on this earth FIFTY EIGHT YEARS!










I had to leave a few blank lines there, signifying my complete incomprehension and also denial as to how that has happened so quickly.

I mean (and yes, I'm looking at YOU TJ  Van Garderen!)...it just seems like yesterday that I was an OH SO YOUNG buck, getting ready to get out of Montana by joining the Navy (cuz, you know...I was TIRED of people telling me what to do...ie, my parents...so OBVIOUSLY joining the military was the way out of that, right?) I signed up while I was still 17. I still remember the afternoon that I brought home the papers my parents had to sign (as I was under 18) for me to be able to enlist. Complete SHOCK is what I most remember (they had no idea I was talking to the recruiters). I know my mom was devastated...she had totally figured I'd be following in big-brothers footsteps and going off to college, likely in Bozeman (Montana State).

But as the middle child, it's my lot in life to be the black-sheep...and darn it, I was GOOD at it! College...yuk! For ONE thing, what would I possibly study? I had NO IDEA what I wanted to do, other than to NOT be in Montana any more. Yeah...butting heads w/ Mom and Dad...not sure if all teens go thru that but I sure did. My Dad was MUCH more understanding (he had been in the  Air Force back in Korea)...he understood it was time for me to spread my wings and fly away from the protection of the nest. He talked sense into my Mom that night and the next day they signed the papers and I was almost on my way (my date to go away was 9 months later...they called that "delayed entry"). 

I still needed to graduate from High School tho (not a problem, I was honor roll pretty much my whole life.... with the exception of one class...fundamental Drafting (it was during my Senior year too). I VIVIDLY remember THAT day. In drafting you do a requited drawing and when you think it's ready you take it up to the teacher to grade. Any mistakes or problems were points. A perfect drawing was a zero...and your overall grade at the end of each quarter was based on total points...the lower your points the higher your grade. I was working on a VERY low point total until THAT day. I took a drawing up for grading, and he deducted points that I didn't agree with (it was only like 2 points). But hey...I was wronged. so I pleaded my case, he told me to "go sit down". I crossed my arms and stood there wanting a fair appraisal of my disputed deductions. He then said I was going to get a point a minute if I didn't go sit down.

I ended up going from a very high A to a D minus for the quarter that day (at the end of that day it was technically a HUGE "F"), and forever lost any zest for architecture (I was pretty good at it actually). My parents were quite upset (I explained the situation to them, they started making phone calls to the school, and finally after a meeting with the principal and the teacher I got a D minus for the quarter, and a C for the semester (the part that goes on permanent transcripts). I also dropped that class like a hot potato (how on earth would I ever get a fair grading after all THAT?)

Apparently I had a history of such behavior.

Back as a 3rd grader in Sheridan Wyoming, I took a stand one fine winter day for the injustice to my class. You see, our little school (Linden School) sat on a property with a very nice hill behind it. In the winters the hill was covered with snow, and during recess nearly the entire student body (kindergarten thru 6th grade) would be on that hill, making tracks and sliding down, going back up, getting in line for which "track" you wanted to go down, and going down again...until the bell rang and we all ran inside. Well, on this particular day I somehow got pretty wet (soaking)...and my teacher (Miss Wastaski) decided as punishment that the entire class wouldn't be allowed on the hill for a week. I thought this was wholly unfair to punish everybody because I got soaked (gee...playing in snow and getting wet from it...the crime of the century for SURE!) So in my protest I turned my desk around and sat facing backwards and wouldn't do ANYTHING she said. Of course this quickly resulted in my going to the Principals office where I had to explain myself.

Turns out the Principal thought I had a good case as he called Miss Wastaski down to explain HERSELF (she was the text-book Biddy-Old Maid I can safely say...I think I could actually sketch her from memory, with her short bun-red-hair and glasses, which is odd as I can't remember what I did YESTERDAY). Boy was she PISSED at that meeting! She stood up to the Principal defending her punishment of the entire class, and the principal said it was her decision, and that was that.

NOT!

Day after day I'd sit facing the other way, not doing any classroom-work nor homework. Didn't take long before there was a parent-teacher-principal conference and boy did she look silly trying to explain my low grades as this had been going on over 2 weeks (yes, it went on that long, I don't think the principal realized it at the time). As a continuing part of my punishment nobody in my class was allowed on the hill the entire time I was protesting).

All punishment stopped the day of that conference, and I believe Miss Wastaski had a SERIOUS ass- chewing by the principal AND both my LIVID parents! BOY were they UPSET (and NOT with me for a change!) I seem to recall the rest of my year of 3rd grade being rather frosty (to me) from Miss Wastaski (not the class, I think they respected my defiance even though all of hadn't slid on the hill for over 2 weeks, double the original ban)...but I got thru it.

Once the class punishment ended I ended my protest and got back to being the class-clown that I always was (while still getting good grades). For 4th grade I had Mr. Englebert (how on earth do I remember this stuff??) and he obviously knew about the situation (I believe the entire staff did, how could they NOT?) but I never had any problems with him (that I didn't deserve anyway). I DID write a LOT of lines however, saying "I won't  do" blah blah 500 times or more (note: my technique was I start at the top of the page and write "I" in the start of each line all the way down, then back at the top write "won't" all the way down, and so on and so on for each page until it's filled with sentences). Seem to recall I wrote a LOT of lines throughout my grade-school career. I also recall the lovely chalk-board-nose-in-the-circle-on-the-board punishment more than a few times. If you never had the joy of that one, you get called up (usually for talking or some other disruption of class....ME???) and stand directly in front of the class flat-footed facing the board...the teacher than makes a tiny "chalk circle" about 2" above your nose, where you then have to go tippy-toe and put your nose in the circle while the class progresses untill the bell.

Gosh, you'd think I was some kind of TROUBLE-MAKER or something (GRIN!). Boy do I have a LOT of good stories on THAT subject!! (though in my defense, I have never been to Jail or anything like THAT!) Well....there WAS that crane incident when I was 10 that resulted in the Sheriffs office being called and my Dad cutting a business trip in San Francisco short to GET HOME NOW! I had both my brothers involved in THAT one, even though they were totally innocent...sorry Greg and Dave....well, no, come to think of it, I'm not really very sorry...I was just preparing you for life...get over it! I think you're both better people for it! I MEAN, you NEED experiences like that to more fully appreciate life! (that's my story and I'm sticking with it!)

Gosh, I have REALLY wandered here down the ol' memory-lane. I think I was GOING to talk about how I CANT BELIEVE I'M FIFTY EIGHT YEARS OLD all of a sudden!

Maybe I'm a TEENSY BIT freaked out by it....I mean....(if you don't know what the "I mean" thing is all about, one of the American road-racers by the name of TJ Van Garderen says that about 90 times during a 2 minute interview...drives me CRAZY...pretty much EVERY sentence he speaks starts with that! I've been saying for YEARS they need to send him thru some kind of public speaking class...SERIOUSLY!)

So... back to THE subject (of how OLD I suddenly am)....my Mom just passed away back in June at 84 years old. That's now only TWENTY SIX YEARS AWAY!  I just CAN'T be that old! I mean (HA!) that means I'm already likely now thru over 2/3rds of my LIFE! I mean...I"m still getting stronger on the bike! How can this be?? (well, I'm not getting stronger just at the moment...I'm still embroiled in my annual "Post Tour de France" slump). Had a rough week on the bike (my rides both Weds and Thurs and then today I felt like I had sludge for blood and no zip whatsoever...today on the group road ride I was dropped the last third of the outbound leg, and pretty much immediately on the return leg). It's like I SUCKED or something all week! I sure hope next week is better...I mean...Jeannie got me a new pair of "gravel" bike shoes (road shoes that actually have some tread, unlike traditional road shoes). She gave them to me a day early, and I totally thought I'd get the "Wizzard of Oz" shoe boost in todays ride....but turns out it was more like a shoe-SUCK of all my energy. Seriously...I was pathetic to the point that the group stopped with about 25 miles to go for water and food, and I went on solo, not wanting to stop, and also too embarrassed to be dropped AGAIN. Funny though...once I went solo (ie: setting my OWN pace) I felt pretty good, and I was quite surprised the peleton never caught me...it was a rather large and FAST group of about 20 riders). Maybe THEY were tired too from CRUSHING me all day and were taking it easy. "hey...Matt's not here, let's slow down finally...I'm tired". Yep...that's what they must have been saying (in my mind).

And so. my birthday doesn't really bring joy...just the dread that I'm ANOTHER YEAR closer to hanging up my cycling shoes (especially my Mt bike shoes...I LOVE Mt biking!). I mean...how many more years can I SERIOUSLY expect to Mt bike? Ten? Fifteen maybe??? I mean (see, makes you CRAZY, doesn't it?)...so far (knocking on wood NOW) I've never crashed on a road bike. But I HAVE (and will likely continue to do so, however infrequently) crashed on the Mt bike. At what age does that risk become not worth it? I've never really been hurt (once again, knocking on wood NOW)...the closest I've ever come was March 3 years back when that big red (brown/orange?) bull knocked me down the bank and stomped my wheels. That day WAS a miracle as he would have killed me if it had played out any differently. And I HAVE had more than a few CLOSE CALLS on the road bike...(inattentive drivers) and THOSE are more scary than the bull! So scary that I'm very much afraid to ride solo on the road (which also was pretty odd that I cruised by the stopped group for a 25 mile solo ride home today....VERY unlike me!)

No real idea where to go from here...(in this post I mean). In TWO hours I will be 58. For now I guess I'll go finish a bottle of water and go to bed (I AM tired...seem to have forgotten to take my Geritol today). Actually I seem to have forgot that I had forgotten to take my Geritol today until just 30 seconds ago. That's even worse.

But at least I got a free hamburger from Red Robin Friday afternoon! I always have THAT to look forward to! (and if I were to go to Dennys tomorrow I get a free Gand Slam).

There. I'm now looking on the bright side of life. Yes, "Always look on the bright side of life"! (Thank you Monty Python)

And so another year begins anew. Cheers!




Late update: the picture below is of my good friends (Navy family) daughter Jessica...she was a newborn when I first 'met' her (yep, feeling OLD now!). Don and Janice had just gotten back from Okinowa (where Don was stationed) and I had just came to Norfolk from Peal Harbor. Turns out we were all staying at the Norfolk Naval Station Navy Lodge, unbeknownst to each other. I was walking to the lobby to pay my weekly bill, and Janice was coming FROM the lobby after paying their weekly bill. We passed each other and both spun at the same moment, and hugs and happiness ensued...I was taken to their room, and there in a crib was baby Jess, just a few weeks old...she was a Korean adopted baby. ANYWAY.....Jess and her Strike Team from Indiana had volunteered to go help with the Hurrricane Florence efforts. She's a pretty amazing young woman for sure (and it would appear her Strike team think so too).

 Jessica being held up by her Strike Team (she is team leader) in Spartanburg SC (where they were pre-positioned to help rescue people in need during Florence).

My TOUR of the Tour de France, 2018!

I have a confession to make: I went to the Tour de France this year! Yes, I was at every stage! I traveled on a REALLY TIGHT shoestring budget, in fact. I was so frugal that it's like I was still living at home. And sure, there are those who THINK they saw me at work or other places that were NOT France...all I can say is they are mistaken, or hallucinating even. I mean, just LOOK at my pictures! (A picture is worth a thousand words, right?) What more proof do you need? All I can say is that it was FANTASTIC, all I've ever dreamed of! What a wonderful Tour I had! I didn't want to say anything about me BEING there throughout becasue I wanted it to be a surprise! Still don't believe me? See for yourself!

 Stage 1: How glorious to see the mighty Tour peleton rush by! This is just after the official "start" of Stage 1 in the start town of Noimoutier-En-L'lle (don't ask me to pronounce that!) Where else would I be for the START of my FIRST Tour de France, but at the START of the first Stage? It was quite a fight to get past all the fans and out to the street I can tell you...and I can safely say there are more than a few people that went home that night talking about that crazy American. (I think they were a little bit afraid of me).

(Photo credit Tim de Walle/Getty Images Sport)

Stage 2:  The Breakaway. There I am, out en-route, cheering on the break! In the lead is Sylvain Chavanel riding for Direct Energie, along with Dion Smith (Team Wanty, back right) and Michel Gogi of Trek Segafredo (back left)......it was terribly exciting! Did you know they have Poison Ivy in France? Neither did I. But I do now. KNEW I should have brought a pair of pants.

(Photo credit Tim de Waele/TDWSport.com)

Stage 3: Team Trial. Here we have Movistar on their way to a top 10 finish. I was jumping with joy watching Valverde, Quintana and Landa (all on my fantasy team) whoosh by in person! And  by the way, I could TOTALLY tell the speed difference of only having 8 riders instead of the usual 9...I mean it was like night and day to my experienced eye. I believe they were going roughly 0.17 mph slower than they would have been with 9 riders. Like I said, a HUGE difference!

(photo credit Getty Images)

 Stage 4: somewhere along the route (I have NO IDEA exactly where I was at this moment). There's just nothing else like the Pro Peloton whipping by! The sound of all those carbon wheels and carbon frames reverberating with that special sound was almost deafening at that speed
(they were right around 28.73mph coming up this slight rise...which is pretty quick).

(Photo credit Getty Images)

Stage 5: Here's the front of the Peloton in full flight (notice how strung out they are). Greg Van Avermaet is in the front wearing the Maillot Jaune. It's beautiful weather today for sure! In fact, so far we've had almost perfect weather...in face, it feels JUST LIKE BACK HOME!

(Photo credit Tim de Waele/TDWSport.com)

 Stage 6: Edvald Boasson Hagen chatting with Alexander Kristoff. It's like they're ready to have tea and crumpets served to them at 30 mph! I was yelling and screaming, and just before this picture was taken Edvald looked at and then nodded at me! Or he could have been just blowing the flem out of  his nostrils. I'm going with the nod.

(Photo credit Getty Images)

 

 Stage 7: I was SO EXCITED to see America's own Lawson Craddock still in the race (rides with Cannondale Drapac, the only American team in the race)! I saw the photographer right across the road taking pictures and happened to be looking right at him and gave a little "jump"...and he took the shot. Lawson is running dead last (lanterne rouge) but makes the time cutoff day after day, all while riding with stitches above his eye and a broken shoulder (scapula). Is that tough or what! Oh rats...just got a paper cut...I'll be back in a minute, not sure if I can type anymore today. Man does that really smart! Anybody have some Hydrogen Peroxide and Neosporin WITH pain Relief handy?

(Photo credit Getty Images)

 Stage 8: Here in my select spot I'm cheering for Nairo Quintana (Movistar) who is currently back over 2 minutes from the lead. Next to him a Cannondale Drapac rider takes a call from his mom, asking if he has clean underwear on in case he were to crash and end up in the ER. Aren't all Mom's the same?

(Photo credit Getty Images)

 Stage 9: THIS is one of the stages I've been waiting for since they announced the route last year,

the fabled Cobblestones of Roubaix! I'm right on the edge of one of the beautiful yet horrible sectors of cobbles (can't remember which one...they all look the same to me). In the lead is Yves Lampaert (Quick Step), followed by Greg Van Avermaet (BMC) in yellow, and John Degenkolb (Trek Segafredo). They went by just a few feet from me but I could BARELY see them. I knew they were close as I could HEAR them coming with the crazy noise the bikes make hammering over the cobbles! I actually didn't even know who it was when they rode by due to the haze...(had to watch it later on TV to see what happened). You can't really see it, but I MIGHT have had my eyes closed in this picture. Maybe THAT'S why I didn't know who it was. And, I was coughing up dust-chunks for hours after the peleton and all those stupid chase cars finally went by.

(Photo Credit Getty Images)

Stage 10: Philippe Gilbert leading the breakaway! That's THE Phillipe Gilbert! I have goosebumps!

(Photo credit Getty Images)

 Stage 11: Peter Sagan of course, the greatest road racer of our generation and the 2018 Paris-Roubaix winner, AND current world road champion (for the 3rd year in a row). Here he's on the attack for green jersey points. I'm actually pretty amazed at how easy it has been for me to move between stages and get to a good spot every single day, and right where the photographers are too! Isn't that something! I bet the other race-tourists don't have it nearly as easy as I do!

(Photo credit Getty Images)

 Stage 12: Where else would I be on THIS stage but ON the world famous Alp d'Huez? I mean, come on...I'm part Irish and part Austrian...where else would I go but Switchback #7, Dutch Corner! I was welcomed with open arms (except from the Gendarme standing right next to me that I almost punched in the head accidentally in my cheering enthusiasm)...You see, I had JUST stepped over the rope barrier (turns out that's probably not a very good idea) when Tim (we're on a first name basis now) took this shot from across the road. What you don't see is moments later when the Gendarme and his friends took me to the ground like a common miscreant. ME! I mean, come ON! Can't they see that guy with the GIGANTIC FLAG running out in the road? (the peleton is only bout 60 seconds away at this point btw). Thankfully they didn't rip or otherwise damage my clothes in the melee, being as I only have 2 T-shirts and 2 sets of shorts along in this most FRUGAL of trips (in case you hadn't noticed).

(Photo credit Tim de Waele/TDWSport.com)

 Stage 13: Out on the road somewhere (once again, no idea exactly where). Funny how nobody else wanted to stand where I was. You'd think I haven't been taking a shower every 6th day (or so)!

(Photo credit Bettini Photo)

 Stage 14: Jasper Stuyven (Trek Segafredo), with some other guys behind him. I think I scared him when I leaped out of the shadows like a crazy-man. Thank goodness he didn't throat-punch me...I hear they train these guys to go for the throat to defend themselves from rabid fans (and thanks Fatty for the "throat punch" thing...maybe if this had been Levi he really WOULD have pinched me!)

(Photo credit Tim de Waele/TDWSport.com)

Stage 15: Bauke Mollema (Trek Segafredo) and Magnus Cort (Astana) attacking. I think they should have a special red shirt awarded daily to the most aggressive (in a legal non-confrontational way) fan every day. I think I'd have had a chance!

(Photo credit Getty Images)

Stage 16: I found Beelzebub (I'm behind him on the edge of the tarmac). His real name is Didi something or other...and he's been doing his Devil thing ever since I can remember. Here Team Sky leads the peloton up one of the easier climbs of the day. I'm cheering on Quintana right at that moment (the rider in blue about 6' away from me), hoping he will come alive in the Pyrenees and get back in the game. Tomorrow is the shortest road stage of the race, and includes THREE big climbs with an Hors Catagorie mountain-top finish! I'm hoping to see a SERIOUS GC shakeup tomorrow!

(Photo credit Getty Images)

Stage 16 (still): After watching the peloton roll by (see last picture) I moved on to the 2nd to last downhill (I thought it might be a great action spot) and magically I was RIGHT THERE where THE Philipe Gilbert crashed and went over the wall! Me and another spectator (in the blue shirt on my right) were the first on the scene...then one of the moto guys (in the yellow jacket behind me) jumped over and we helped get GilBil back up over the wall! What a crazy day! I was REALLY glad I was there to help!

(Photo credit Getty Images)

 Stage 17: the SHORTEST Road stage in Tour history! Only 40 miles, and the final HC climb (which is where I'm at of course) was pretty spectacular! Also it's the first time they've ever used this climb in the Tour! Here I'm running after my new HERO Dan Martin! This man knows how to SUFFER! He's the new Jens! I just LOVE THIS GUY (you know, in a Manly hero-worship way), he just NEVER QUITS FIGHTING!

 (Photo credit Getty Images)

Still Stage 17: Of course everybody knows who THIS IS! I've been rooting for Nairo Quintana for YEARS! He just hasn't been able to bring it when it counts, but TODAY he's on a solo breakaway in the lead, going not only for the Stage win but taking back some time against the top 8 riders (he was in 9th at the start of the stage). He ended up winning the stage and climbing all the way up into 5th place! WAY TO GO NAIRO! I really do think that my presence motivated him to hold on for the stage win! It's like I'm a SUPERFAN with magical powers, and maybe teams will start to request my presence along the route in strategic places in the future! Just so all the teams know, I AM available, but I'm not cheap. OK, yes, I'm cheap. Make me an offer...seriously.

(Photo credit Getty Images)

 Stage 18: Tom Dumoulin of Sunweb riding strong. It was a beautiful sunny day, perfect for watching a bike race! I've found that when you're AT the race IN PERSON there's no such thing as a snoozer stage (ie: a sprinters day)! I've been rooting all along for Tom to win this year...and once again, my mere presence is giving him extra energy or something! I have no idea who the people behind me are rooting for...the MAN WITH THE PLAN  just passed us and they're looking the wrong way!
(Photo credit Getty Images)

Stage 19: The peleton is CRAZY HUGE today! I can't fathom how they can ride without killing themselves and each other for more than a mile or so. It's really quite fascinating! Here I was just looking back into the heart of the peloton (note: see how I'm keeping my hands behind me, and any ropes, straps and whatnot WELL AWAY from the riders?) I'd sure hate to be THE GUY who causes a huge pileup in the peloton. I'm sure somebody would get it on camera (I'm talking about YOU Tim)!
(Photo credit Tim de Waele/TDWSport.com)

Stage 20: the Time Trial! The ride of truth! Today 1st thru 4th place are all very good TT'ers, and all are fighting to be on the podium! I think Geraint Thomas (in yellow and almost 2 minutes ahead of 2nd place) is safe unless he gets hit by a meteor. It's 2nd and 3rd place that is the real battle today, with 3 guys fighting for the 2 spots. I was at the start area today as it just seemed like THE PLACE to be. Here I just wandered into a roped-off-area, and then totally photo-bombed Chris Froome! Seriously, how can they just let people wander around back here? It's like they didn't even SEE ME walking around and then standing there or something!
(Photo credit Getty Images)

And FINALLY, Stage 21: The Champs Elysees. I'm right on the corner screaming my head off, about 300 meters from the finish line. I'm wearing my TDF Yellow shirt today OF COURSE (I did the math way back before Stage 1 so that I'd end up in the Yellow today). I thought it odd that nobody else around me was wearing any of the Tour jerseys or real color whatever. How BORING! And they weren't really going crazy each lap either...sure, they cheered some but nothing like I expected. Can't remember which lap this was (it's NOT the last lap though, as the crowd did go nuts then) but there was still a breakaway about 50 meters up the road. What a GREAT way to end my
TOUR of le Tour de France, 2018!

(Photo credit Getty Images)

And so...that about wraps up MY Tour!

I'll have to do this again NEXT YEAR for SURE! 

The NBC Sports crew has NOTHING on me...I was EVERYWHERE!

Ahh...the memories!
Cheers!