Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Apparently I'm old

I know, I know....surely you jest Matt. Yes, this is what you MUST be thinking to yourselves (you ARE thinking that, right?)

But alas, it seems I am. And how do I KNOW that I'm old? Well, it's not from the aches and pains that seem to be arriving anew every day. Or from having to get up in the middle of the night to, uhm, er, visit the uhm, err, little porcelain room. Nor is it the fact that I can't run as far or jump as high as I used to just a few short years ago. Also it's not the fact that each year I go backpacking, my pack is seemingly HEAVIER although I always take some stuff out that I took last time. It's also not the fact that when I look at coins (I have always collected them), the ones from the time around when I was born seem very old now. Nor is it the fact that I have reading glasses all over the place, AND 2 sets of bifocals. Or the fact that my favorite music is STILL mostly 70's rock (they call that 'classic' now). OR the quite annoying fact that my 35th H.S. reunion is coming up next year already. SO, if it's none of the above, how on earth do I know that I'm old? Any guesses? Go ahead...try it...and see if you are right. it is. It seems I have old clothes. As in many of my favorite clothing items (especially dress clothes) are older than the kids graduating High School this year (and last year, and the year before that). And I'm pretty sure I have some that are older than some College grads. And possibly some Masters degree grads. And most likely, a few PHD's too.

I can't verify this, but my theory is that most guy's don't really care about their clothes that much. Pretty much as long as I HAVE some clothes to wear, then I'm good. What year (decade) they were made is irrelevant. Not worth a moments thought. In fact, the question "is it clean" is just a minor thought, but even if the answer is "no" doesn't necessarily preclude me from wearing it anyway (there are many levels of clean, which might be a topic for another day). And IN style? WHO CARES? (answer: not me). Besides, WHO decides what's in style and what's not anyway? And who made them the fashion God(s)?

All right, enough teasing. I KNOW you are just DYING to hear more. And so, in the immortal words of  Paul Harvey, "here is the REST of the story".

Jeannie has been after me for some time now to go thru and pick out the clothes I'll be wearing on our upcoming cruise (we fly to Anchorage next week to catch our ship). It's 7 days on the ship and we will hit ports in Skagway, Ketchikan (sp?), and Juneau, with a day in Anchorage and 2 days in Vancouver.

I had NO IDEA that I needed SPECIAL clothes to go on a cruise. And by 'special' I mean something OTHER than what I already have. I mean new. For the same unknown reason Jeannie needed pretty much all new clothes, and she has somehow sucked me in to this evil vortex of shopping. And if there's ONE THING I'm sure of, it's that pretty much universally, guys HATE clothes shopping. EVEN IF it's for us! (and ESPECIALLY if it isn't!)

My idea of clothes shopping is once or twice a year getting a new pair of Kirkland jeans from Costco ($12.99 baby!) And every decade or so some new pairs of, uhm, er, under-wear (and by every decade I mean that the old ones must have totally and irrevocably given up the ghost and are completely unrecognizable as ever having been a clothing item). And shirts? Sheesh. I get new shirts all the time. Why, I just got ANOTHER brand-spankin' new shirt at this years Tour of California! That it happens to be this years version of the Newbury Park bicycle-shop T-shirt is just an added bonus! It fits right into my collection with LAST years version. And I'll get another new LIVESTRONG T-shirt up in Davis in July with Team Fatty! Look at that, 3 months, 2 new shirts! Gosh, at that rate I'd be buried in shirts in just a few years! I actually have to be quite selective in what FREE shirts I'll wear (the old ones that have no sentimental value eventually go on to live an honorable life in my garage rag bag). I think T-shirts accumulate much like water bottles. Somehow they just keep coming in, and I keep taking them even though I DO NOT need any more. I'm like the Humane Society for shirts (and water bottles). Thankfully I run a NO-KILL facility (thus explaining the boxes of shirts and bottles in my attic). 

ANYWAY. Last Sunday evening I finally succumbed to Jeannies constant nagging (I mean her never-ending extremely pleasant suggestions) and started digging in the spare bedroom closet where most of MY clothes hang out...(hang out...get it?? HA! I just SLAY myself sometimes!) After I dug out my Smithsonian wing of clothes, I gave Jeannie a nice little fashion show, and to say that she was unimpressed on a galactic scale would be a gross understatement. It seems that I am fashionably challenged in the highest order. You see, I like my clothes. I have a few beautiful sports-jackets that I bought NEW (cuz I'm a worldly guy) back in the early 90's. If they were cars, they'd almost be classics!

Here are some pics, you decide for yourself if I'm out of style.


This is my beautiful creamy sort of yellow'ish silk jacket. 
 I LOVE this jacket. And Jeannie just HATES it. 

 And my gray wool suit.

And my blue jacket.

 And my charcoal suit.

And my gray jacket

And my creme jacket (Don Johnson look out!) 

And my gray wool pinstripe suit. 

And the purple cycling tights with a pink tu-tu sewn on (oh, wait...those are for GREG to wear someday when he loses a bet with me....guess I won't show you THAT picture!)

So...I guess goodwill is going to get a nice little donation bag of some incredible OLD clothes from me in the near future. And I'm QUITE sure there will be a free-for-all when the general public finds out about this amazing score to be had. And WHEN this stuff ever comes BACK into fashion (how will I possibly know when it's IN, being as I didn't even know that it was OUT?), then I'm going to be quite ticked off! Because THEN I'll be buying this stuff all over again! And the stuff I have NOW will be going to goodwill. And those who are MORE farsighted than me (ie: single, so they can KEEP their stylish clothes without making their significant other think they are a caveman) will be right back in vogue. And it won't have cost them a dime, other than the space required to keep the stuff stored for a few years (or decades).

And as for me? Well, the Fashion Police (aka: Jeannie) are all over the case, and rest assured that I will be totally stylin' and profilin' for the cruise. And if we happen to go on ANOTHER cruise in, oh....let's say around 15 years or so from now, I'll be pulling out this years NEW clothes to wear. And then she'll HATE them too. And we'll start this vicious little circle all over again.

I tell ya', there's just no satisfyin' a woman. HEEEEEYYYYYY...maybe THAT should have been the title of this post. Oh sure, I think of that NOW. Guess I'm getting old.


  1. I think you just need to spruce up your suits with new brightly colored shirts and ties and you're ready to go!! It's a cruise - you only have to dress up for dinner. Rest of the time is casual. And let me know if you meet any people associated with the Iditarod while you're in Alaska. I'm still hoping to break into that arena for journalism next winter!

    My Tivo has found LOTS of cycling on Versus for the next two weeks. Daily broadcasts of the Dauphine and Suisse. Really! Not live, but same day. I'm rather amazed.

  2. Actually, the shirts I was wearing for the pics weren't the ACTUAL shirt's I had for those outfits..(except the charcoal suit, that was the correct shirt). And I gave you all a break and DIDN'T continue my fashion show...left out a few sports jackets and an ancient're welcome.

    And the STUPID WIND! Gosh it is almost unbearable! I was supposed to ride today (Thurs) but bailed...even Mt biking is out of the question today. Tomorrow I will ride the course for the Santa Ynez Classic MTB race that is this weekend. I raced this twice in years past, and realized that I don't really care for racing. I just like to ride, and the Friday before the race is the only time of the year I can ride the course (it's on Firestone know, wine and beer Firestone? Calif people know what that is).

    Tomorrow morning is my pre-op appt for my eye blob. I find out how much of my eyelid I will get to keep. Thanks for all the well wishes btw...I'm sure it will all be fine...(it's not WHAT it is, but WHERE it is that has me in the jitters). I have scheduled my surgery for the 30th of June (after we get back from the cruise).

    And Cathy, I'll surely keep my eyes and ears open for any openings into the Iditarod. Have you contacted Jill Homer btw? (her blog is "Jill Outside" in case you don't follow her). Just a thought...lived in Juneau and Anchorage, and she is also a writer and has done the ITI mtb race twice, along with other crazy hard races. She might have contacts that would help.

    And before I head to dinner, Jeannie has the news on about the latest round of tornadoes...just insane! Springfield Ill is the latest victim (one of the latest I mean). What is going on here? It's been such a devastating spring, SO MANY tornadoes! My heart really goes out to the horrible!

  3. Oops...I meant my eye surgery is the 27th (Monday)...I still had my May calendar up when I wrote the 30th.

  4. Matt, Springfield MA silly boyum. Just 30 miles south of my mother's house! the sotrm then went east right over my sister in law's house in Newton. Did you see the video of the tornado? Holy canoli!!The one of it whirling down the Conn. river was unbelievable. Luckily no one in my family, or their friends were hurt. No property damage either.

    Fashion opinion: I love the silk jacket! Why does Jeannie hate it?
    My other favorite is the charcoal suit. Very dapper
    Forget the double breasted or low slung ones. You are slender enough to get away with it, but for some reason they just look droopy and less flattering. Although, the Don Johnson one is a really good color for you, and it looks like very nice material.

    Have a wonderful trip!! We will be here when you get back. And we sill go to the doctor's with you if you want.
    Hugs, cat

  5. Hey all! I tend to agree about the suits. I think that a beautiful bright shirt and cool tie would be the ticket. Cat's right, the double breasted ones do look droopy but I also like the charcoal one. Hee hee. It just occured to me that this post (including comments) is the very DEFINITION of Inane Asylum!! Love it. I cracked up when I realized that it was going to be a fashion show in pics today :)

    That all being said.....
    Just wear what Jeannie wants to see you in and it will be smooth sailing for you.
    I want to see the next photo shoot of the stylin' & profilin' from the cruise! Oh, and by the way, I don't in any way believe for a minute that you're getting old ;)

    Glad that no one in your family was affected by the weather, Cat. When I first heard the report I figured it was Springfield MO - which was really close to Joplin - and I was getting ready to call T when I realized it was out east.

    Dang. How the heck do I find out when VS (or whoever they are now) is showing cycling? Had no idea that they had anything on during teh week. And I thought that the OLD website was difficult to use! Thanks for passing that on Cathy.

    Last day of school for me tomorrow! The teachers are ALWAYS more excited than the students!! HELLLLLOOOOOO summer!

  6. Some weeks ago I mentioned here that the Versus TV schedule stated it would be brodcasting daily coverage of both the Dauphine & TdS. (And how shocked I was).

    Have a good trip, Matt.

  7. Well, I've tried and failed to post so many times this past 10 days! But the fashion show inspired me to try again!

    I quite like the yellow silk--but considering that you haven't caught up to me yet, age-wise, and MY closet has quite a few of the best of the 80's still resident, perhaps you shouldn't take my word for it! Since I wear scrubs for work, and rarely go out to any venue that requires dressing, I make do with my older basics--I have ditched the shoulder pads though---oh wait, THAT is what people are smiling about!


  8. I just re-read what I said there, and just want to clarify--dressing UP, dressing UP, I am not a nudist!!!

    Matt, also, good luck with the eyelid--it may be uncomfortable for a few days but should heal quickly-- but I am wondering-will we be calling you Popeye after this? You know, will you perfect that little squint?

    By the way, I did go out to the Tour of California for the last 3.5 days. The sunshine really did me good--it was still raining when I got back (my flight was delayed 3 hours due to storms, but at least it wasn't cancelled as many were.) I never really tried to go near the Radioshack bus, the crowds were so large -- clearly people still identify RS as THE American team; but there were good crowds at the BMC and Garmin buses too. I got G. Hincapie's autograph on a musette, and quite a few of Garmin on a poster--and most of Saxo on a water bottle. Saxo were in fact the most fan-friendly after the last stage, all the riders spent quite a long time outside the bus signing and chatting.
    I had to apologise to Nick Nuyens for not recognizing him - explained that I'd only seen him race over the internet. Had the Saxo soigneurs park next to me at the last feed zone, too, and they said "we've not got anyone very good here" "What about Nuyens?" "oh, he's all right, but not for here"
    I still need to sort through my pics and post somewhere -- maybe photobucket--I will let you know when I have them up.

    I sent an email to NBC sports last week about how difficult it now was to find the cycling content since they took over Versus, and took them to task for ignoring the ToC and Nationals on their home page. If you weren't already a fan, and know to dig for the Versus and Universalsports schedules, you'd never be able to tell they ever have cycling anywhere! You all should write too! If enough complain, maybe they will make it better (although they must realize there is an audience, since they are adding broadcasts, right?)


  9. Janann, I googled "versus cycling schedule 2011" and found a page that lists the whole season's schedule. Here is the link:
    It has been updated since Versus's site disappeared. They are showing Philly on Sunday evening (at least they claim they are!) I also heard on the live chat for the USPro road race that they will be showing that on Sunday too.

    Cathy, was that really LA on the live chat? I'm waiting for that plane to show up to take me to the ranch!


  10. Matt, I had my 35th COLLEGE reunion this weekend, so you don't get to be "old". This joyous event unfortunately caused me to miss the Philly bike race for the first time in years!

    Just got back from an awesome vacation in Utah (Canyonlands/Arches)- pictures later this week, as soon as I edit the show down from the current 300 slides! Honestly, they are all so gorgeous that I should just put every 6th one into a slide show.

    having the same problems posting from Google, very frustrating - I tried to post my thoughts about LA before I left on vacation and couldn't make it work - but Susie, you pretty much nailed it.


  11. THANKS RAE!! That is the link I was looking for! Sounds like you had a great time in CA. How does it compare to the ToM, as far as crowds, accessibility, etc? Just curious.

    Looking forward to seeing your pics and Barbara's too.

  12. OMG Rae, you're edit/qualifying post cracked me up but good! I remember doing that a lot in the old days of the Inane asylum. Good to laugh. Thanks for the link to the schedule too. Miss talking to ya'll life's been a little rough here, but I'm making head way.

    susieb, when did NBC buy Versus? I'm a real loser and should trade in my IA membership.....

  13. I do remember you saying that about the cycling during the week, now that you mention it susie. I think that I just got so frustrated when I was trying to use the "new" site to locate a schedule that I forgot about that and gave up on ever seeing VS cycling again ;)

    Don't give up your membership, Cat. We miss you around here! I'm certain that blue skies are headed your way (Did you read Saul's book?).

    BEAUTIFUL stage at the DL today! That scenery made me want to plan a trip. Voeckler has been kicking some butt this year. Although he didn't win today, he has had an amazing season and didn't give up once the group caught him. I always want to cheer for him.

    Just for fun - have you seen this video of Millar? He has a book coming out I guess. I couldn't get over his choice of .......accessories for the event.


  14. And Rae, I agree with Janann, you cracked me up. Although MAYBE that was a little Freudian slip, you nudie! :)

    And Barbara - can't wait to see your photos. I have loved ALL your photos from all your trips, plus I live vicariously through them! In fact, I live through ALL you guy's adventures as I don't know WHEN I'll be 'vacating' anywhere. I'd been planning/saving for a 3 week trip to Italy since 2003 & all I know for sure is I won't be going for 3 weeks (until I win the lottery, which is, you know, any day now....). The Italy trip was originally supposed to happen in 2005, then maybe 2008, then I thought for sure in June 2011 then 2012. But then last Fall & the beginning of a series of 'Unfortunate Events' & it looks like 2012 is out of the question. So, do me a favor everyone & take LOTS of trips & LOTS of photos & post 'em here! :)

  15. This site ate 1 of my comments again! I had posted it right before the one that does show up!

    But, HAH! I made a COPY this time, so I'll try again!

  16. It's gone again! What's going on?! I did not swear at all! MAAAAAAAT!

  17. I tried THREE times! It actually posts but then when I check the site again, it's GONE!

    What are the RULES here?!

  18. Hey Matt - can you go into your SPAM file & mark my comment held hostage in there as "NOT SPAM"? Will it post then?


  19. The UCI has cleared Ricco to race with a lower division team. Gee, guess Slitherin's "lifelong aspiration" to be a BARISTA will have to wait. Pity....

  20. (Attempt#4A- I'll try splitting in 2)

    I detest the nbcsports website & have for years. For some reason, I can never see the entire screen & cannot move to the right UNLESS I minimize everything down below 87%. The only time I've gone there the past 2 years has been during the Olympics. I USED to go there daily to read 1 of my fave sports bloggers (John Walters) but the IDIOTS of NBC let him go in early 2009.

    My original Versus cycling link is still on my list of favorites but when I click it, it takes me to NBCsports. However, something is wrong as it takes FOREVER & once there it acts jerky (meaning it actually jerks around when I try to move up or down). Sigh.

    Anyway, Versus was owned by Comcast & Comcast bought NBC last year although the deal didn't complete till this year. I had still been occasionally visiting the Versus website Jan-April this year & never SAW any heads-up about the change. But then in April (I think) I read 1 of Johan's tweets (or it may have been his blog) & he mentioned that "Versus was now known as NBCsports" * I thought WHUH?!" That was the day I clicked again on my Versus link & found myself on the dreaded NBCsports site.

    I don't know if they will change their channel name again (although my money is that they will - something with "NBC" in it). I am also worried that Universal Sports & Versus won't both survive as they are both now Comcast/NBC-owned.
    I wouldn't be surprised if we don't see a promo during the TDF for the Versus channel name change.

  21. (Yippee, seems to work,so Attempt#4B)

    OH, speaking of promos, have you seen this year's TDF promo on Versus? Makes you wonder if Lance is a stockholder in Comcast/NBC. The promo ends with the screen stating : REGRET NOTHING.
    ;) ;) I'm with ya, Lance!

    I was actually looking forward to David's book but today I'm a bit ticked at him. I just read his comments from his book launch last night. He's criticizing Lance for "not doing enough to stop doping" in the sport & states the FDA investigation "will just have to run its course". But on the other head, he feels SORRY for Pistol Punk & seems to want the case against him to just go away! He says that AC is such a gifted talent, probably the best Grand Tour rider ever, that it's a travesty to let his case drag on, etc. What I got from his comments is that he SUPPORTS Contador (a PROVEN doper, from the ACTUAL TESTS), while he no longer supports Lance (who NEVER actually tested positive & please, that Swiss lab guy can't even seem to keep his story straight from interview to interview).

    My 'fave' part of Dave's comments was when he says you can't possibly think AC could have been doping in THIS year's Giro & yet look how dominant he was. HAH! After what the world now knows about the last 30 years in this sport AND specifically, the past 2 years, why would anyone think ANY cyclist, especially one that CRUSHED everyone in the most ridiculosuly hard GT I've ever seen, POSSIBLY dope? Are you KIDDING?! And that Millar's statement about AC was almost WORD FOR WORD what Lance's defenders have said for YEARS cracks me up.

    Also, to get your name on your comment - in the 'Select profile' box right below the comment box, select 'Name/URL'. Up pops another box where you can type in your name & then click on Continue. Wha-lah! At least that's how I've been doing