Sunday, November 4, 2012

The woods are deep and dark

Not really sure where to start today...things seem to be happening fast and it's hard to keep up.

Let's recap...We took PG to the surgical center last Monday evening, on Tuesday they did a CT scan among other things, and determined she had a huge mass in her thigh. I came home from work that evening and found one of our two large goldfish (Thelma) dead on the bottom of the acquarium. Not much later we get the call from the surgeon giving us a complete doom and gloom prognosis for PG's surgery on Wednesday, we were scared to death.

We both took Wednesday off and drove down to Ventura to see her before she went under the knife (in case it was the last time we see her). Her surgery isn't scheduled until sometime after noon, so we drive back home and wait. About 3:30pm we get the call....she came thru surgery fine, and they sucked out almost half a liter of blood clot from a bleeding tumor, (which had now stopped bleeding thankfully). So they stitched her back together after taking a few biopsies of the tumor (and some other items of interest). We are relieved beyond words, the surgeon thought the tumor might have been a 'fatty' tumor (PG had a large fatty blob tumor removed about a year ago..benign).

Thursday comes and goes, she is recovering fine, no news is good news.

Friday I come home from work and Louise (the other large goldfish) is also now dead on the bottom of the aquarium. VERY strange. Not much later we get another call from the surgeon, TOTAL doom and gloom. The biopsies are back, all a malignant something sarcoma, no sense taking the leg at this point as the blood clot was all the way up into the pelvis (and all the blood that leaked out the tumor could very likely have tumor cells in it, thus spreading it wherever it went). She talked about us seeing the oncologist on Monday, discussed 2 possible radiation treatment plans (both expensive and both almost impossible for us to do, being as we live 100 miles away from the oncologist, and we both have jobs). We are seemed like she had no chance...

Saturday morning I go for a bike ride to clear my brain...the surgeon calls back and talks to Jeannie...wanted to make sure we understood some points: there is no sense doing anything (radiation or otherwise) until after we see if she gets the use of her leg/foot back (she has lost feeling due to the pressure on the nerve from the huge blood-clot). If the feeling doesn't come back then taking the leg is still a possibility. Also she discussed that the tumors are "low grade"...and most likely had been there for some time (they were small) and we would have never known about them except one started bleeding. So the best course of action is to bring her home and let her recover, and see where things go. I come home from my ride, having been working out how to possibly do the radiation treatments, as we have to give her a chance. Jeannie gives me this news...and wow! Talk about a totally different phone call than the one the night before! I was stunned!

So....hopefully I will be able to bring her home tomorrow (Monday) afternoon...and we will just take it from there. We will be looking into changing her diet...I know there are lots of homeopathic treatments and such for cancers, depending on the type. Overall I recall reading that most tumors live on the if you cut those out you can help starve carbs....thankfully PG won't have any problem with that diet...we start giving her chicken and turkey and she will be in HEAVEN!

What a roller-coaster ride this has been. I can only imagine how bad this would feel if it were one of US with this's bad enough that it's one of our fur-babies let me tell you. And yet people all over the world get this kind of news every single day. It would be crushing, can't imagine how you wake up and move forward.

And so...if things continue with her recovery I will bring her home tomorrow...we drove down yesterday afternoon and visited...she is doing well, and made a HUGE fuss that we were there (she is in a very large 'room', and both Jeannie and I were able to crawl in there with her and just sit and touch her...she really loved that, always has. We stayed with her for a while and then had to leave, she was very sad (as were we, you know it's heartbreaking to leave when they don't understand). It will be great to pick her up though...she will be SO happy! To get our little family all back together again. And we will just keep putting one foot in front of the other and take it from there, doing what we can when we can. I guess that's all anybody can do.

As the old saying goes, it can always be worse.

One thing that has been bothering me...why did my 2 fish suddenly die, each on a night we get a terrible phone call? Those fish were the survivors of the 'turtles' (remember those from a year ago?)....these fish survived a ton of stuff..and were quite large...I'm guessing about a half pound or more each. Their water was immaculate (I have the Binford 350 super duper external 350gallon per hour filter that I had for the turtles....the water is PRISTINE I can tell you!)...can't for the life of me figure out why they suddenly died 2 days apart. There's no ammonia, nor anything else that I've tested for in the water...(and they are goldfish for crying out loud...cold water fish who can live in a stupid fish-bowl with no bubbling air, water filtration, etc for a long time). I just think it's very odd....and now it's so quiet in my office without the bubbles running....(I only ran the super filter at night for about 2's only a 20 gal tank...@ 350gph,  run it for an hour and the water has been cycled MANY times thru a HUGE heap of carbon).

And so...the dreaded time change has happened once again. Winter is officially here in my book. My riding time has taken a huge hit in the last 3 weeks or always does in the fall/winter...right now I've just lost interest I'm afraid. Hopefully things will look up when PG is back home. I sure hope so...the other 2 are getting lazy without the Alpha telling them what to do, and lording everything over them.

Have a great week, and I hope we shall do the same. 


  1. Oh, Matt, I'm so, so, sorry for PG. Keep us updated. We'll send good thoughts; metaphorical "treats". :) And kiss her a bunch of times for me & say the following : "Oh, you purdy thing" while stoking her head & tummmy. All my doggies just loved that. :)

    As for your fish, Wow! 1st, I didn't even know goldfish could get up to half a pound! What's their lifespan? How old were yours? Maybe the 2nd one died of loneliness or a broken heart. :) Will you be getting some new ones? Wait, did you say you fish were named THELMA & LOUISE? :) :) The last goldish I owned (25 yrs ago) & attempted to keep alive longer than the time it took to get through the box of fishfood, I had named Lucy & Ethel. Can you ask your fish store if they can think of anything that would kill them like that?

    Take care of yourself & all the 'girls' of the house. Catch ya later.

  2. Matt, did you get your baby home? I know all about these dog issues, problems, concerns - having lost both our yellow labs this year just a few months apart. I hope she came home today. It's always the best just having them there beside you, knowing you will give them the best care. We adopted a rescue dog in August, named him Oliver (because he was an orphan!) and have really welcomed in the new member of our family. Never did the rescue route before - it's nice.

    There is a big koi facility in Santa Barbara, I think off Garden Street down near the freeway. You could call them with your carp questions. They might have an idea.

    Watching election returns. Geez Romney, just concede already. It's getting late in the east! My favorite thing about Obama winning is how upset Trump is. Ha!

    I have a good friend (met through cycling, of course) who lives in Hoboken - only got electricity back yesterday after a full week off! It was very interesting "working" with her every day, finding out stuff for her from her text requests, helping keep her spirits up, reminding her she was only lacking electricity and her home was still in place, etc. etc. It was a nice thing for our friendship to go through. I wish I could have gone there to help her. So much loss.

    Matt, do you have my email address? If so, will you send me yours? I have a question to ask you about my son living in Santa Maria during fire academy. Thx!

  3. Rae, I just got caught up on all the posts and wanted to say I'm so sorry you've lost your mom. It's such a sad time when a parent goes - but I'm sure she had a wonderful life and I hope you will treasure all of your time and memories with her.

    And Susie, glad you survived the storm - just so much craziness with the weather and global warming.

  4. Hello all. Wow - I have really missed a lot around here...

    Rae, I can't tell you how sorry I am to hear about your mom. I don't think we can ever be truly prepared for that -- no matter how long it was in coming. I hope that things have settled down a bit for you now and that you are able to curl up, find some peace, and enjoy the memories you hold dear of her. I'll be thinking of you.

    Matt, I can't even believe what you have been dealing with of late. I'm so glad that you caught that nasty skin cancer early and were able to take care of that and the gum problems. I know that what weighs most heavily on you, though, is poor PG and impending decisions you may have to make regarding her care. I lost my prior dog to cancer right after my son was born and it was heartbreaking. I truly hope that things improve for her at home with her family. Nothing is more difficult than watching your children or animals suffer. I'm sending your way vibes of positive energy and strength. (((Hugs))) to you, Jeannie and PG!

    Glad you checked in Susie so we know that you are OK after the storm. The strength of that storm was astonishing and the destruction unbelievable. I was communicating with some friends out there while it was going on and its always a nervous time when contact is lost. Sigh of relief that all is well with you :)

    I don't know where the time goes around here. Feel like I'm chasing my tail trying to get everything done with the kids, job, & home. Time flies by before I know it. Though each night I thank my lucky stars for the blessings I have.

    Peace friends